Sunday, March 23, 2014

And we're back!

Total steps yesterday:  9,642

Guess who's kicking herself for not taking an additional 358 steps yesterday?  This girl. 

But, more importantly, 5.5 weeks after Lil W arrived, I finally got to run again.  And it hurt.  I did a familiar 2.75 mile loop near my house, and successfully ran the first 9:42 of it before doing a run/walk combo for the remaining 20 minutes. 

It's funny, though.  Historically speaking, getting started on a workout regime has always felt emotionally terrible.  I've felt frustrated with myself for getting out of shape, annoyed that I can't go as far or as fast as I once did, and really body conscious.  This time around, it just feels like part of the slog that I have to go to in order to get back to where I want to be.  And this time around, I'm even more driven than before.  In the past, beginning a workout plan has always happened with the sole focus of losing weight, and only once I'm a few months in to it do I remember that fitness is the best part.  This time around, fitness is the goal from the beginning.

And yes, I am still aware of the weight.  I know the extra 20 pregnancy pounds that haven't come off yet are slowing me down.  I admit that as much as I'd love to say it was all worth it, the extra stomach I have irks me.  I acknowledge that I'll probably wear a one piece bathing suit from here on out because my new stretch marks bug me.  All of this body image stuff is on my list of things to grapple with, and things to keep out of view of my ever more aware daughter, because I don't want her to struggle with these same things.

Also, I can tell you that I spent about 16 minutes of my run/walk yesterday running, and the other 14 minutes walking and crying.  Turns out post-pregnancy hormones combined with exercise make me a weepy mess.  But it's hard to breathe, run, and cry at the same time, so I figure the solution is more running to keep the tears at a minimum while hormones equal out.

I'm pretty sore today, so plan to take it relatively easy other than maybe a long walk.  As this week goes on, I'll implement some weight-training and continue some easy runs.  Mostly, it just feels good to be back. 

Lil W was worth the fitness hiccup, though.

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