Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Things I miss (that I wasn't expecting to miss)

So  I think that we're pretty much ready to go on the baby front.  I need to pick up a few nursing bras sometime soon and start making/freezing some meals for next month, but otherwise we have everything we need.  Which is a good feeling.  James and I are totally in a holding pattern now - we're tentatively making plans and discussing the next few months, but really, until Lil W arrives, there's not much we can do.

I have started to shift to thinking about life after her arrival, though.  I don't really know how she'll change my life yet, though, so I'm mostly thinking about the things I've missed that I can't wait to do again once she arrives.  There were things I knew I'd miss going in to pregnancy - coffee, sushi, sub sandwiches, coffee, running when I could no longer do it, wine, coffee.  But as I enter the homestretch, there are things that I keenly miss that I never expected to.  In no particular order:

  • Wearing jeans.  I was able to wear my regular pre-pregnancy jeans until I was about 6.5 months pregnant.  And at that point, I decided it wasn't worth it to buy maternity jeans for just three months of my life.  Past Kathryn, you should have bought maternity jeans.  
  • Race training.  I am incredibly grateful that I could, and did, run for the majority of my pregnancy.  And while it was good to maintain a 3 mile base, I was surprised to find that I really missed race training.  I love running in general, but running toward a goal, and focused on increasing mileage and speed, is like a really fun game to me.  I don't even really love actual races, but preparing for races is so fun and I can't wait to get back to it.
  • Sleeping without having to think about it.  This one hasn't been bad till the last few weeks.  And I obviously know that my sleep once the baby arrives won't be ideal either.  But every night now is a struggle to find a position that allows me to breath, supports me in all the places that need support, and still be comfortable enough to actually sleep.  I miss the days when I'd lay down in bed, flat on my back, and fall easily to sleep.  This is further aggravated by having to repeat this process 2-3 times a night when I get up to pee.
  • Having space in the apartment.  Unfortunately, I don't think this one will change after baby.  When my friends threw my baby shower back in early December, the gifts ended up in one corner of our bedroom for storage.  Then, we ordered a few more things from Amazon.  Then, we ordered a few large things in large boxes from Amazon.  Once these boxes were unpacked, we decided they were worth keeping for our upcoming move, so now we have both giant boxes and the giant things that came in them hanging around the apartment.  Long story short, it was already awkward enough moving around with my bump, and now there's no more space to do it in.
And finally, just in general, having to think all the time about everything.  It's reached the point where 85% of my waking hours are spent thinking about how to accommodate my pregnancy in my life.  Whether it's gauging whether or not something is too hard at work, worrying about Zoe jumping on my stomach in the middle of the night, figuring out how to do dishes when my bump keeps me arm-length away from the sink...everything involves a calculation.  No wonder that by the end of the day I just want to curl up and watch mindless shows.  Even that requires calculations of how to arrange pillows so I'm comfortable sitting on the couch.

Long story short, I totally see now why pregnancy lasts nine months.  The first 7.5 months or so, James and I fretted about whether or not we're ready.  Now, though, we both feel like anything will be easier than the last few weeks of pregnancy.  Future Kathryn is going to laugh at this, obviously, since I imagine she'll view this time as incredibly easy and carefree compared to taking care of a newborn.  And it is, obviously, but that doesn't necessarily make it fun.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I agree that one reason pregnancy lasts 9 months - if all goes well - is so that by this point, you feel like, no matter WHAT, let's get ON with this!!